The idea of publishing this book came to me soon after Renato’s suicide in April 2016, although I didn’t begin working on it until five years later. I have debated with myself whether I should publish it. On the one hand, a book like this may appear self-indulgent. It reveals many embarrassing details that I have never shared before. Renato would certainly object if he were still alive. On the other hand, this book is a way to honor Renato’s memory. It records not only the details of his suicide but also his life – our life together. It may dissuade someone else from committing suicide. It may encourage others to take mental illness seriously, something I didn’t always do. It may help other suicide survivors obtain closure, as it has for me. It may offer them hope, or a small measure of comfort.
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